Back to work...

Well, my babymoon is over - sadly. Today I'm heading back to work...I'm really sad to not have my days all to me & Mabel. Before I had Mabel if you had told me I would envy woman who get to stay home with their babies I would have thought you nuts, but I do. I wish I could- don't get me wrong, I love my job, really, everything about it and I would never want to loose it, but I wish I could have it both ways. Why can't being a mom be a valid paid career??

So...I'm up at 5:30 to shower & pump before Mabel gets up and here I am facing a day at the office- not that I didn't get up early and pump when I wasn't working, but knowing I have to leave her makes it feel so different. I just love taking care of her, being there to share the day with here, you know all the little things...I'm not the first mother who felt this way, but when your feeling it you do feel pretty alone in it. If only I could split myself in two so I could do both! Lucky for me I have the ideal situation, I can complain but I shouldn't - I am able to work part-time and my very own Mom stays with Mabel, I know "win-win" but why can't I stay with her all day? I mean look at that face! Who would want to leave that?

...to boot she has taken to not sleeping well the past few nights. It is hard to know if it is the cast or something else bothering her, I mean really it has to be the cast right? She struggles to get comfortable and before the cast she always liked to roll over onto her tummy. Yes, "back is best" and I always put her down on her back, but as she was able to move she would always end up on her side or tummy, now she has no option. Plus she needs a pillow to kinda prop her in just the right way and that freaks me out. The first few nights she only would sleep on her tummy with a pillow - I couldn't sleep thinking of her smothering herself, I finally was able to get her to sleep on her back, but the past couple of nights she has been waking up about every hour to two hours. We'll see what tonight brings...No sleep makes a long day for mama...