Starting over again...

Well, yesterday and last night weren't any better for Miss Mabel. She really does hate this adjustment and although I'm not surprised it is really hard to see her like this. I've been thinking back to when she came home in the cast and how hard that was, it is very similar right now as we try to get our new systems into play. On Mabel's end it will just take her time to adjust to this huge change in her life. She is three months older now and more aware of how she's feeling but unable to fully verbalize those feelings. She seems so upset most of the time and I just feel so bad and helpless as I watch her struggle with this. I never thought I'd long for the spica cast and it isn't that I would want it back, but there was the comfort in knowing what we were doing and I miss that...it will feel normal again soon, I mean if a spica could feel normal than a brace can too right?

The bright side at this point is everything we had to use for the cast works and is needed for the brace, so we are covered there. I think I've accepted that the dreams of sitting and standing are out the window right now and I'm treating this as almost an extension of the cast with the bonus of a daily bath. I'm frustrated that I can find little to no information regarding the transition of baby from cast to brace or caring for a baby in a brace. It is sad that there aren't more resources on this too.

Our diaper changing seems more smooth and although Mabel still hates how it feels, she isn't as frantic when we do it. I try to remind myself it is much like when she was a newborn and she hated getting dressed and undress, she just needed to get use to the sensations...it is kinda the same thing.

I think what is hard is Mabel is still struggling with the last few symptoms of her cold, as we all are here, and that on top of everything else has made for some rough patches. She hasn't wanted to play on the floor much, or play for that matter. She wants to be held, but then pushes me away. She's been having little tantrums too as she deals with all these feelings she can't define. Last night as she fought bedtime it was so hard to see her try to fall asleep then just cry and ask me to pick her up, then when I did she'd push me away and try to hit me so I would have to put her down again and she was just so upset. What upsets me is there is nothing I can do for her except support her the best I can. The cast took her some getting use to, over a week before she really was accepting of it, so I'm hoping that in a weeks time she'll have a new perspective on this too and that vicious cold is completely gone!

I want my happy Mabel back, she's in there somewhere and I know she'll come back out soon, you can't hold her back!